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The Marshmallow​-​to​-​Oat Ratio Has Been Reversed!

by Lobsta Thermidor

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1.
Monkey see, Monkey do! The number 14 is my favorite number Let me explain why It's because it's the number you get when you multiply 7 times 2 And that is the number of monkey me, monkey you Monkey see, Monkey do!
2.
His name was István Blaskó Stern mustache man Bela Lugosi's dad Settled in Lugos, Hungary Started out baking bread Helped found the Volksbank of Lugos Bela Lugosi's dad His dad his dad his dad Bela Lugosi's dad I looked him up on wikipedia Not sure how to pronounce his name "István Blaskó" Excuse me? "István Blaskó" I was close! Bela Lugosi's dad His dad his dad Bela Lugosi's dad His dad his dad his dad Wikipedia is really good If you gotta look something up that's kind of obscure Like, in this case Bela Lugosi's dad His dad his dad his dad Stern mustache man Bela Lugosi's dad His dad his dad his dad
3.
Some mismatched placemats, some clown wigs and a wolf mask Pick up in Whitmore Lake A small paperback book titled "Mastering Pacman" It is in very good shape Available for pickup I am looking for a working snow blower And some glass milk bottles (any size) If you can help I sure would appreciate it I can pick up just about any time Available for pickup
4.
ONE DAY AT A CERTAIN TIME YOUNGSTERS MAKE UP THEIR MINDS WE’RE TIRED OF THIS LIFE! LET’S THREATEN PEOPLE! BLACKMAIL IS MY BUSINESS! THEY CHANGE THEIR ATTITUDE! THEY’RE STARTING A NEW LIFE BLACKMAIL IS MY BUSINESS!
5.
Happenstance, happenstance and chaos And giant robot monster guys Benzadrine-toting mummies with opalescent handbags, Poisonous darts and runny eyes These are just some of the obstacles Standing in our mighty way Demons and Tycoons and ferocious yucky madmen Guns and knives and forks and laser kites Microscopic astronauts with tiny bushy eyebrows Mean gazelles who frolic, scratch and bite These are just some of the obstacles Standing in our mighty way Lets hope in this particular adventure We'll keep all the unpleasant creatures at bay
6.
7.
8.
There was a evil, evil spider in the shed And it punched everybody Every baby in town! They call me Squigglebones Cuz my bones are made of rubber They call me Squigglebones Cuz I'm like nobody else He used his rubber bones to boing it away Cuz he can use his rubber bones And they can boing if he moves his arm Up and down, up and down And he pushed him And he made him boing away They call me Squigglebones Cuz my bones are made of rubber They call me Squigglebones Cuz I'm like nobody else
9.
I had 14 reasons for discarding all this That I wrote down earlier, but then I had to kiss The memory of these things That I said, but I do not know La la la la la
10.
On the tenth and final day of the Corduroy Chipmunk Festival Miss Palby gave to me the following objects, ideas, or ratios: Eight shrimp a-buzzin' Six lame obstetrics Nine narwhales nambulating Davey Crockett's earlobes A date with the cutest Hospital Ghost! A fat lip And toast gadgets The plot synopsis for an imaginary ballet called "The Immaculate Davenport of Father Coogins" written in eel blood on a large graham cracker raccoon The color "huffy" A t-shirt from The Tucan Layer of Cereal Hell And Eric Stoltz A miasmal jungle wedge A misanthropic pork-juggler Kevin's Undershirt, Wyoming And some soggy yarn An elderly hockey player's goiter Sponseller dressed as an elf, dancing for 28 hours atop a crate of stinky finger puppets! And a fourteen pound cube of Hosterman's Gazebo Loaf
11.
I found a terra cotta chimp I took it home on my blimp I sold it on Ebay for 400 dollars
12.
MASTAR 01:31
The MASTAR (Model for Analog Simulation of subThreshold, saturation and weak Avalanche Regions) is an analytical model of Metal-Oxide Semiconductor Field-Effect Transistors
13.
My silver Chevrolet is turning gray My hound just up and ran away And the last words that I heard her say "I won't be coming home" Swipe the card in and out rapidly You weren't where I am yesterday at 4pm Surrounded by the Illuminati And I cried Wasn't even supposed to be here today
14.
Ashtray 00:56
Please use the ashtray Come on guys I just cleaned up! I'm not kidding Please use the ashtray Seriously Were you guys born in a barn?
15.
Well, we all went down to Raven Rock Mountain Complex At the start of World War 3 Us congressmen and senators And, of course, our families But not that sumbitch president Or his stupid policies We all went down to Raven Rock Mountain Complex Well, we brought along some scientists And we brought a lot of booze And bean bag chairs and a whole mess of guns We even brought some staffers Cuz we are not heartless beasts But only the attractive ones We brought along some actors From our favorite TV shows And we make 'em act out scenes From our favorite episodes And if they give us any lip We just toss 'em back outside And slam the doors to Raven Rock Mountain Complex Well, we all went down to Raven Rock Mountain Complex When everything went to hell To assure governmental continuity We're getting sick of playing X-Box And the place is starting to smell And the screaming of the Damned haunts all our dreams The Majority Whip went on a rampage So we had to take him down We ate one of the scientists last week We had a visit from the King of the Mutants In his horrible bloody crown And there are no more butterscotch cupcakes Well, we all went down to Raven Rock Mountain Complex It seemed like the thing to do But now I'm the only one left here To see this whole thing through So I'm opening the blast doors And lifting up my chin Gonna make America great again!!!

about

This album is FREE, as are all the tracks...

Recorded by REDACTED in UNDISCLOSED BUNKER. No REDACTED were REDACTED during the making of this product.

Dedicated to Greg "Milkweasel" Hillegas and Owl "Albert" DiBlassio, without whom I would have no sense of humor...

credits

released March 30, 2016

Songs performed by Lobsta Thermidor, with special guests Merrill Hodnefield (voice), Peter Smith (dobro), and Missile Kid (voice).

Songs written by Mr. Thermidor, except:

"Swipe Card In And Out Rapidly" lyrics by Kristen GC, Brian Hines, Kristopher Kelly, Hans Masing, and Peter Smith

"Bela Lugosi's Dad" is a total rip off of the Bauhaus song (complete with stolen sample).

"Squigglebones" lyrics by Otis. It also uses a sample from Laurie Anderson's awesome song "Ko Ko Ku", off her BRILLIANT ep "Mister Heartbreak".

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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Lobsta Thermidor Ann Arbor, Michigan

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