The Marshmallow​-​to​-​Oat Ratio Has Been Reversed!

by Lobsta Thermidor

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about

This album is FREE, as are all the tracks...

Recorded by REDACTED in UNDISCLOSED BUNKER. No REDACTED were REDACTED during the making of this product.

Dedicated to Greg "Milkweasel" Hillegas and Owl "Albert" DiBlassio, without whom I would have no sense of humor...

credits

released March 30, 2016

Songs performed by Lobsta Thermidor, with special guests Merrill Hodnefield (voice), Peter Smith (dobro), and Missile Kid (voice).

Songs written by Mr. Thermidor, except:

"Swipe Card In And Out Rapidly" lyrics by Kristen GC, Brian Hines, Kristopher Kelly, Hans Masing, and Peter Smith

"Bela Lugosi's Dad" is a total rip off of the Bauhaus song (complete with stolen sample).

"Squigglebones" lyrics by Otis. It also uses a sample from Laurie Anderson's awesome song "Ko Ko Ku", off her BRILLIANT ep "Mister Heartbreak".

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license

Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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Lobsta Thermidor Ann Arbor, Michigan

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Track Name: Monkey/See = Monkey/Do
Monkey see, Monkey do!
The number 14 is my favorite number
Let me explain why
It's because it's the number you get when you multiply
7 times 2
And that is the number of monkey me, monkey you
Monkey see, Monkey do!
Track Name: Bela Lugosi's Dad
His name was István Blaskó
Stern mustache man
Bela Lugosi's dad

Settled in Lugos, Hungary
Started out baking bread
Helped found the Volksbank of Lugos
Bela Lugosi's dad
His dad his dad his dad
Bela Lugosi's dad

I looked him up on wikipedia
Not sure how to pronounce his name
"István Blaskó"
Excuse me?
"István Blaskó"
I was close!

Bela Lugosi's dad
His dad his dad
Bela Lugosi's dad
His dad his dad his dad

Wikipedia is really good
If you gotta look something up that's kind of obscure
Like, in this case
Bela Lugosi's dad
His dad his dad his dad
Stern mustache man

Bela Lugosi's dad
His dad his dad his dad
Track Name: Available for Pick Up
Some mismatched placemats, some clown wigs and a wolf mask
Pick up in Whitmore Lake
A small paperback book titled "Mastering Pacman"
It is in very good shape

Available for pickup

I am looking for a working snow blower
And some glass milk bottles (any size)
If you can help I sure would appreciate it
I can pick up just about any time

Available for pickup
Track Name: Blackmail Is My Business
ONE DAY

AT A CERTAIN TIME

YOUNGSTERS

MAKE UP THEIR MINDS

WE’RE TIRED OF THIS LIFE!

LET’S THREATEN PEOPLE!

BLACKMAIL IS MY BUSINESS!


THEY CHANGE

THEIR ATTITUDE!

THEY’RE STARTING

A NEW LIFE

BLACKMAIL IS MY BUSINESS!
Track Name: Happenstance and Chaos
Happenstance, happenstance and chaos
And giant robot monster guys
Benzadrine-toting mummies with opalescent handbags,
Poisonous darts and runny eyes

These are just some of the obstacles
Standing in our mighty way

Demons and Tycoons and ferocious yucky madmen
Guns and knives and forks and laser kites
Microscopic astronauts with tiny bushy eyebrows
Mean gazelles who frolic, scratch and bite

These are just some of the obstacles
Standing in our mighty way
Lets hope in this particular adventure
We'll keep all the unpleasant creatures at bay
Track Name: Squigglebones
There was a evil, evil spider in the shed
And it punched everybody
Every baby in town!

They call me Squigglebones
Cuz my bones are made of rubber
They call me Squigglebones
Cuz I'm like nobody else

He used his rubber bones to boing it away
Cuz he can use his rubber bones
And they can boing if he moves his arm
Up and down, up and down
And he pushed him
And he made him boing away

They call me Squigglebones
Cuz my bones are made of rubber
They call me Squigglebones
Cuz I'm like nobody else
Track Name: La La La La La
I had 14 reasons for discarding all this
That I wrote down earlier, but then I had to kiss
The memory of these things
That I said, but I do not know

La la la la la
Track Name: The Tenth Day of the Corduroy Chipmunk Festival
On the tenth and final day of the Corduroy Chipmunk Festival
Miss Palby gave to me the following objects, ideas, or ratios:

Eight shrimp a-buzzin'
Six lame obstetrics
Nine narwhales nambulating
Davey Crockett's earlobes
A date with the cutest Hospital Ghost!
A fat lip
And toast gadgets

The plot synopsis for an imaginary ballet called "The Immaculate Davenport of Father Coogins" written in eel blood on a large graham cracker raccoon
The color "huffy"
A t-shirt from The Tucan Layer of Cereal Hell
And Eric Stoltz

A miasmal jungle wedge
A misanthropic pork-juggler
Kevin's Undershirt, Wyoming
And some soggy yarn
An elderly hockey player's goiter
Sponseller dressed as an elf, dancing for 28 hours atop a crate of stinky finger puppets!
And a fourteen pound cube of Hosterman's Gazebo Loaf
Track Name: Terra Cotta Chimp
I found a terra cotta chimp
I took it home on my blimp
I sold it on Ebay for 400 dollars
Track Name: MASTAR
The MASTAR (Model for Analog Simulation of subThreshold, saturation and weak Avalanche Regions) is an analytical model of Metal-Oxide Semiconductor Field-Effect Transistors
Track Name: Swipe Card In And Out Rapidly
My silver Chevrolet is turning gray
My hound just up and ran away
And the last words that I heard her say
"I won't be coming home"

Swipe the card in and out rapidly
You weren't where I am yesterday at 4pm
Surrounded by the Illuminati
And I cried
Wasn't even supposed to be here today
Track Name: Ashtray
Please use the ashtray
Come on guys
I just cleaned up!
I'm not kidding
Please use the ashtray
Seriously
Were you guys born in a barn?
Track Name: Raven Rock Mountain Complex
Well, we all went down to Raven Rock Mountain Complex
At the start of World War 3
Us congressmen and senators
And, of course, our families
But not that sumbitch president
Or his stupid policies
We all went down to Raven Rock Mountain Complex

Well, we brought along some scientists
And we brought a lot of booze
And bean bag chairs and a whole mess of guns
We even brought some staffers
Cuz we are not heartless beasts
But only the attractive ones

We brought along some actors
From our favorite TV shows
And we make 'em act out scenes
From our favorite episodes
And if they give us any lip
We just toss 'em back outside
And slam the doors to Raven Rock Mountain Complex

Well, we all went down to Raven Rock Mountain Complex
When everything went to hell
To assure governmental continuity
We're getting sick of playing X-Box
And the place is starting to smell
And the screaming of the Damned haunts all our dreams

The Majority Whip went on a rampage
So we had to take him down
We ate one of the scientists last week
We had a visit from the King of the Mutants
In his horrible bloody crown
And there are no more butterscotch cupcakes

Well, we all went down to Raven Rock Mountain Complex
It seemed like the thing to do
But now I'm the only one left here
To see this whole thing through
So I'm opening the blast doors
And lifting up my chin
Gonna make America great again!!!